Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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