Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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