therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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