So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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