Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
