you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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