Cold hands, warm shart.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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