You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
