Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
