MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.