Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.