Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you. http://tfl.nu/1g0q
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (2625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I am morally bankrupt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I think I am morally bankrupt http://tfl.nu/yusq
  Replies (29) Good night (2372) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house? http://tfl.nu/bwc7
  Replies (28) Good night (3783) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups. http://tfl.nu/xgvv
  Replies (42) Good night (5226) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on http://tfl.nu/cdph
  Replies (14) Good night (3401) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now http://tfl.nu/4db9
  Replies (31) Good night (9455) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again. http://tfl.nu/0xdw
  Replies (14) Good night (657) Bad night (4163) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking. http://tfl.nu/l4c2
  Replies (16) Good night (1203) Bad night (4518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence. http://tfl.nu/jyg1
  Replies (2) Good night (1191) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  It's official drugs can't kill me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): It's official drugs can't kill me http://tfl.nu/v797
  Replies (13) Good night (1963) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed. http://tfl.nu/l8l2
  Replies (16) Good night (3633) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag. http://tfl.nu/t9ek
  Replies (7) Good night (863) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t
  Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now? http://tfl.nu/kz7z
  Replies (8) Good night (821) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea. http://tfl.nu/cuto
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt

Randomize