sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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