oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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