Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
