Don't you send me to vm
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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