we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
