Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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