Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
