You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
