Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's never too late to be topless.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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