i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
