Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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