I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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