I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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