Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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