After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
