Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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