Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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