a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There's even glitter on my cock...
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