they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
