What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
a search helicopter?!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I supernannyed him into submission
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
