i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
