Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
