Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize