Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
