Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
