I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
