my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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