Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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