Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
