I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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