so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
