hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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