after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Houston, we have a squirter
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
