I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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