I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
