There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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