I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
