Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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