Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
