I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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