Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize