I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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