well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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