i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
