Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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