My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
