It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
