So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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