I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
