Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i came on her dog
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
