well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize