i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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