3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
