halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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