I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
