So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
