Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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