Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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